Isolation will do that to you and then some!
by IgnitedFluffy
Summary: The Sitcom, the second season, with the MGS2 crew. May God help us all...and yes, I think we've established the fact that it's BAD! Plus...it's my first fic.
1. Fatman's 'business'

Isolation will do that to you...and then some!  
  
Disclaimer - I do NOT own Metal Gear Solid, and everything belongs to Hideo Kojima and Konami, which made one of the best game series in the world! *hails Hideo*. And now, time for the fic. And don't sue me, it's a waste of money, all I have is $5 and a toothpick. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING ELSE EITHER, IT ALL BELONGS TO THEIR OWN RESPECTIVE OWNERS!  
  
Also, the original idea came from Lady Croft, and it's actually a direct continuation of her fic. So I'm going to insert a LOT of things from the prequel.  
  
A/N - The first few chapters are gonna focus on mainly the MGS2 characters, and how they adapt to their new surroundings.  
  
  
  
The time is 6 AM. Raiden is moving one of Rose's boxes into their new apartment, when suddenly, a very fast blur on a bicycle rammed into him really, really, really damn fast, knocking him into the air, and along with Rose's items.  
  
Raiden - AHHHH!  
  
Rose walks out, and seeing Raiden sprawled on the ground, immediately throws a hissy fit. (poor Raiden)  
  
Rose - JACK! GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND GET YOUR BOXES IN! ONLY 27 MORE TO GO! HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHY I STAY WITH YOU ANYMORE! YOU TOOK SO MUCH WITH YOU! *Points to Raiden's little duffel bag, with his skull suit and M9/SOCOM akimbo combo inside*  
  
Raiden - Yes....dear...  
  
Rose - That's better. I'll wait for you upstairs, on the 11th floor, oh, and use the stairs, the landlady told me there's a little surprise in the elevator.  
  
Raiden - Ugh...why me?  
  
A young woman in a lab coat walks up to Raiden.  
  
Naomi - Sorry about Frankie, he's never been the same ever since that fateful day.   
  
Raiden - Thanks. Err...you are?  
  
Naomi - Naomi Hunter, he's Frank Jaegar...and he's a little out-of-it, but he's a good person.  
  
Raiden - Yeah...I'm sure, I'm Raiden, AKA Jack, by the way.  
  
Naomi - FRANKIE! GET OVER HERE! HELP THIS GUY AFTER YOU NEARLY KILLED HIM! I'll have him help you, it's the least I can do.  
  
Raiden - *thinking* Oh great...I hope Rose gives me a nice funeral...and where's Snake? He's the reason I moved here, stupid hockey playoffs...the Devils just HAD to win...and the gun laws are pretty loose.  
  
Ninja - NAOMI, CAN I HAVE PEANUT BRITTLE AFTER??? (A/N - That was from Lady Croft's original fic, chappie 6)  
  
Naomi - I guess so...  
  
Ninja - PARENTS! I KILLED!*  
  
Raiden - Well, he'll help a lot, I'll go in the elevator, it'll be faster.  
  
A few minutes later, you can hear Raiden's screams of pain from the elevator, which moves REALLY slowly up to the 11th floor.  
  
Naomi - NO! WAIT! I'll go get the bandages...  
  
Ninja - UNCLE JACK OFF HIS HORSE???  
  
Naomi - No Frankie...  
  
An hour later....  
  
Raiden, battered and bruised, stumbled his way over to his door, and what greets him is a very pissed Rose.  
  
Rose - WHERE WERE YOU! FRANKIE HERE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING, THAT'S IT, WE'RE THROUGH!  
  
Raiden - But...  
  
Rose - OUT!   
  
Raiden - Well, I guess I'll move in another place.  
  
Raiden, the idiot he is, takes the elevator AGAIN and goes to floor 3.  
  
Naomi - Well, I'll get the medicine..  
  
Ninja - THE MEDICINE!   
  
An hour later...at Snake's place, room 403.  
  
Snake - Well, this is good news, I have a 100% percent approval rating...HAH! TAKE THAT BUSH! I've also gotten emails recommending me for president...this could be my big break... (let's just say Bush came into office...again, for the sake of humor)  
  
Otacon - You mind, Snake? I'm busy watching my anime! Ahhh...hentai, how I've missed you...  
  
  
  
Ring.....ring....  
  
Fatman - Hello, Laugh and grow FAT business, how may I help you...uh huh? Pest invasion? I'll get down to it.  
  
At Meryl's cabin  
  
Meryl - I want all those rat's dead, NOW!  
  
Fatman - Ho ho ho ho...don't worry, laugh and grow fat, it'll only be a moment, wait in the big clearing over there.  
  
Fatman, on his rollerskates, hitches Meryl's cabin up with C4.  
  
Fatman -Laugh and grow fat, rats!  
  
Meryl - Wait, NO-  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! Rat - SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!  
  
Rat corpses surround Meryl, as she is bombarded by debris of her former home..  
  
Meryl - I'll. Move. In. With. Snake...  
  
Meryl, with a lust for vengeance, calls a town meeting  
  
At the town meeting...  
  
Meryl steps up to the reconstructed podium, which is now made of Mountain Dew boxes.  
  
Meryl - Fatman must be stopped! He blew up my home, and Ocelot's nightclub with gourmet meals!  
  
Ocelot - As corrupt as I am, I NEED REVENGE FOR MY NIGHTCLUB.  
  
Raiden - Uhhh...corrupt and revenge go hand in hand.  
  
Wolf - KNOCK IT OFF!  
  
Raiden - Eep. Yes'm.  
  
Fatman - My ears are burning, is anyone talking about me? HO HO HO HO!  
  
Snake - ....  
  
Raiden - ....  
  
Fatman - !!? Ooohhh....  
  
Everything goes black and white and into slow motion  
  
Meryl - !  
  
Rose - !  
  
Wolf - !  
  
Naomi - !  
  
Ninja - PARENTS!!!  
  
Snake - !  
  
Raiden - !!  
  
Liquid - OUR GENES ARE VINTAGE, BROTHER! (the whole deal with Wolf's daily abuse is no good for him)  
  
Fatman's fall causes a shockwave that knocks out everything. Everything goes blinding white, and when the smoke clears, desolation is amock.  
  
The only thing left standing is Wolf's apartment block, but Mantis' store, Meryl's cabins rubble, and Ocelot's nightclub's remains, and EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE...and Raiden's clothing again, which leaves him naked, with everyone seeing his....thing.  
  
Random Guard which makes a cameo (RGWMAC) - Wow..I wish i had what this kid's got...  
  
Raiden - ... Get...out...  
  
RGWMAC - I'll go now.   
  
Snake - .....MEETING ADJOURNED!  
  
Author's Afterward - Yeah, I know this was majorly UNFUNNY!, but it was my first chappie..had to introduce Raiden in...I'll work on it later...  
  
Don't R&R if you don't really like it. I'm pretty much asking for flames here... 


	2. Lady Luck's Not so lucky Casino

IWDTTYATS - Part Two - Generic Misshappenings  
  
Disclaimer - Once again, I OWN NOTHING! Metal Gear Solid is property of Hideo Kojima and Konami. And WHAT A SERIES IT IS! *hails Kojima*  
  
A/N - MGS and MGS2 are counted as movies instead of games, for all purposes of having all the chars alive for this fanficcie.  
  
At Rose's Place. 11 AM  
  
Rose is watching Muchdedications (A/N - I know it's Canadian! But it's for something....) Suddenly, out pops a message saying "I'm dedicating Over My Head by Sum 41 to Rosemary, to annouce that WE'RE THROUGH! - Jack  
  
Rose sits there, stunned, as the rock music blares out of the (strangely good quality)television...  
  
Rose - JAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
At Raiden's place, 11:03 AM (after the song is over)  
  
Raiden - Hah, noone dumps Jack Off Johnson, and gets away with it. Hehehehe....wait...I forgot about ROSE'S TEMPER!  
  
In a flurry, Raiden barricades the door with a chair, and a table, but soon enough Rose has broken through the door, teeth bared like an angry dog.  
  
Raiden - Uhh...hi honey.  
  
Rose - .............  
  
At Wolf's Suite, 11:04 AM  
  
Wolf is lying in the hottub, sipping at a glass of champagne, while watching a Pay-per-View movie on the Plasma TV she integrated into the wall of the hot tub room, her bedroom, and her lounge.  
  
Wolf - *hearing Raiden's screams of pain* - KNOCK IT OFF!  
  
Raiden - *very faint, and weakly* - Yes ma'am............  
  
Rose - I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!  
  
Raiden - AAACK! AACK! *imagine Rose as Homer and Raiden being Bart*  
  
Other than this, nothing is happening, oh, and Fatman's tranquilized body is still lying in the field, while Wolf's wolves are having trouble gnawing at his fat, thick hide.  
  
The Next day...at 6 AM.  
  
Raiden is woken up by the loud whirring of rotor blades.  
  
Raiden - Wait...after my filming of Sons of Liberty...It only can mean one thing....  
  
Raiden pulls open the drapes, and suddenly yelps in pain!  
  
Raiden - OI! Rose can sure do a good indian sunburn *nurses his wounds* HOLY CRAP! HELICOPTERS ARE CARTING A FUCKING CASINO INTO TOWN!  
  
A big casino is lowered by about a dozen chinook helicopters..and a few other choppers are carting in a small city of about 1000 people to provide business. On the front of the casino, is a big neon sign saying 'Lady Lucks' Lucky Money Pot', and on it, was Fortune in a rather...suggestive pose, which caused Raiden to begin a bit of blood loss through his nasal cavity.  
  
Raiden - Fortune? I haven't seen her eversince the filming...I better call the Colonel for advice...wait...I've gotten to used to the movie parts. I'd better call Snake then. I still have my nanomachines, and the government hasn't caught me yet, as I'm a Secret Military Operative never caught yet...(I'll do a little story about this in a few chapters...actually serious)  
  
Codec Call - 141.80, Raiden - Snake, 6:01 AM...  
  
Raiden - Snake, you hear about Fortune?  
  
Snake - No Jackass, I've only heard about it from you. But yeah, I've SEEN it.  
  
Raiden - You wanna knock a few people unconscious and grab their cash and blow it at the casino  
  
Snake - Yeah, I'll meet you in 20 minutes, at your place, my place is a little cluttered.  
  
At Raiden's Apartment, 6:21 AM  
  
Raiden - Let's go.  
  
Raiden and Snake jump out the window in dramatic style, wearing their Skull Suit and Sneaking Suit, respectively, and then falling into a dumpster, full of Wolf feces.  
  
Raiden - ARGH! I just had this dry-cleaned.  
  
Snake - Damn it, I just had this cleaned by Meryl's head...errrr...let's go anyway.  
  
As they sneak over to the casino, the Ninja bowls them over on a snowmobile (even though it's the middle of summer).  
  
Ninja - PARENTS! UNCLE FORTUNE! PEANUT BRITTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MEDICINE! *runs into a stop sign*  
  
Naomi - Ughh...Frankie....sorry about that Jackie, you too Snakie...  
  
Because of the crash, all the bouncers suddenly see Snake and Raiden.  
  
Snake - Raiden?  
  
Raiden - Yes, Snake?  
  
Snake - Get in there...*throws Raiden into the bouncers, and runs into the casino unnnoticed*  
  
Raiden - AHH! *Thwack!* OW! *slap* EEK!*punch* MOMMY!!!!!!!!  
  
In the Casino, 6:25 AM  
  
Snake rolls into a blackjack dealer, and then takes all the money he stockpiled, which is $80.  
  
Snake - I guess I'll have to use this on Raiden's medical bills...all that cash wasted, unless I just don't pay. Hahaha...let him in a full body cast, then lie to Rose about him cheating on her, then unleash her on him...hehehe...I'll have fun doing this.  
  
Snake, after shooting guards in the groin with the M9, and rolling into some and knocking them off the upper floors, eventually reaches Fortune's headquarters on the 100th floor.  
  
Snake points his USP/M9 akimbo combo at her.  
  
Snake - *pant* Fortune, *pant*, what are you doing in our little town *pant*  
  
Fortune turns around, and there she is, petting a white cat, and suddenly, some ominous music blares out of the ceiling.  
  
Fortune - Ahhh...so Solid Snake, we meet again....where's your little friend?  
  
Snake - Look out the window.  
  
Fortune turns around, and nods  
  
Fortune - I see...I'll pay the bills for him, I'm a BILLIONAIRE ANYWAYS!  
  
Snake - You sold yourself out, Fortune. Remember our movie? We filmed it for our love of blowing things up on a low budget and cardboard boxes. What happened to you? You're so....evil now.  
  
Fortune - Yes, I know. But this casino is here to stay. All these 1000 people aren't willing to get lifted by chopper again. Tell you what, I'll sponser all your gambling, and you don't have to pay a thing.  
  
Snake - Alright, but one thing *pulls out M9 and tranqs Fortune*  
  
Snake then walks over, and transfers one million dollars to his own bank account.  
  
Snake - She's got so much money, she won't even notice a million's gone.  
  
Snake takes out the tranq dart, throws it out the window, which hits Raiden in the head, knocking him unconscious saving him from the pain of the beatings, but he'll be bruised in the morning. After that, Snake sprays Fortune with some coolant he just happened to find in his sneaking suit.  
  
Fortune - What happened? I feel like a sack of doorknobs whacked me in the head.  
  
Snake - You just dozed off for a second *hides M9, and goes off to enjoy strippers and martinis*  
  
A/N - Boring chapter, and next, is everyone else's reaction to the casino (at 9 AM) 


	3. The plan

Isolation Will do That to You and Then Some!  
  
Chapter 3 - First Gravy Gum, and now Gambling??  
  
Disclaimer - The Brainchild that is the Metal Gear Universe is ALL HIDEO KOJIMA'S DOING! HAIL KOJIMA! (hail hail hail). And everything else belongs to whoever owns them.  
  
At 9:00 AM (In Wolf's Apartment, Wolf rolls out of her king-sized bed, only to bump into the window and see.....ONE FRICKIN HUGE CASINO!!!  
  
Wolf - Gambling? In this small town?  
  
Wolf groggily gets up, gets her wolves onto a leash, then takes her own personal elevator in her own FRICKIN HUGE Apartment Block down to the ground floor, then walks to the Casino.  
  
----------------------------  
  
at 9:00 AM, exactly 10 seconds after Wolf wakes up, Otacon wakes up to notice Snake is not there.  
  
Otacon - Snake? Snake? SNAAAKE!!?? Well, where could he be....he gets addicted easily, so...  
  
At this moment, a thought bubble appears Otacon's head, with a Chibi SD (super deformed) Snake chewing Gravy flavoured gum and retching in disgust at the same time, causing Otacon to shudder.  
  
Otacon - He quit that disgusting crap, so it can't be him...  
  
In the thought bubble, the Chibi Snake is seen smoking a cigarette.  
  
Otacon - If he did, I would've smelled fire. Last time he smoked outside, he burnt down Meryl's second cabin by carelessly throwing the flaming cigarette stub in front of it...  
  
Next in the thought bubble, the Chibi Snake is seen playing a Slots Machine.  
  
Otacon - Bingo. But there's no casino here.  
  
Otacon paces through his room and looks out the window, and sees the Big sign of Fortune scantily clad, causing Otacon to pause and look for a few minutes. Then he just shakes his head very suddenly.  
  
Otacon - *shakeshakeshakeshakeshake*Oh wait, that's one....FRICKIN HUGE CASINO WITH ONE FRICKIN HUGE SIGN OF FORTUNE FRICKIN SCATILY FRICKIN CLAD! Snake's there *shakes his head* Poor boy...  
  
Otacon slowly walks to the casino, being careful to step over the unconscious bodies of the guards Snake beat the crap out of.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Snake is seen continously pressing down on the slot machine handle, with his eyes all bugged out and staring at the machine.  
  
Snake - WOOHOO! JACKPOT! *Snake opens a bullet magazine, and sticks more coins in there. Right now...he filled 20 magazines...*  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
"SUDDEN~LEE~! SUDDEN~LEE! I DoN't FeEl So InSeCuRe AnYMoRe!"  
  
That's Right...Liquid was singing in the shower again.  
  
Wolf - (very loudly, even from that far away) DON'T MAKE ME GO UP THERE!  
  
The Singing stopped abruptly, followed by some dog-like whimpering.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Otacon pokes Snake in the shoulder, and Snake turns around, with his eyes bugged out, and nodding like an idiot.  
  
Snake - Hiotacon!Ihopeyoucanunderstandmebecausei'mreallyhappyrightnow!imwinningsomuc hmoney!!  
  
Otacon - ... *sweatdrops*  
  
Suddenly, the Ninja rides by on a tricycle, screaming.  
  
Ninja - PARENTS! PARENTS! AHEEEHEAHAHAHA! PARENTS! UNCLE SNAKEY GET SO MUCH MONEY! ME NO LIKEY MARTINI!  
  
Naomi - Frankie! Get back here!  
  
Even Snake, in his hyper state, sweatdropped for about three seconds, then went back to his rabid gambling.  
  
Otacon - Oh crap...  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Otacon - I have called a town meeting, to discuss Snake's new addicition, slot machines.  
  
Liquid - OH, COME ON? JUST GIVE HIM SOME GRAVY FLAVORED GUM! Oooohh.*thud*  
  
As it turns out, Wolf had gotten annoyed, and shot him with her PSG1-T.  
  
Otacon - Thank you Wolf. So...any suggestions??  
  
Octopus - Yes! We should enlist him in more anti-addiction classes...  
  
Ninja - UNCLE SNAKEY? ME NO LIKEY NAKED LADY HOUSE!  
  
Naomi - Yes, Frankie, yes....  
  
Meryl - We need more anti-addiction groups for Snake!  
  
Octopus - But I just said..  
  
Ninja - UNCLE BUM? NO WORRIES BUM, ME YOUR FRIEND.  
  
Octopus - *sigh*  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
To be Continued...will Snake ever get off being addicted to SOMETHING? Noone will ever know... 


	4. NAKED LADY HOUSE GO BOOM!

Isolation will do that to you and then some!  
  
Chapter 4 - In the mortal words of Ninja, 'NAKED LADY HOUSE GO BOOM!'  
  
Disclaimer - NOTHING HERE IS MINE! Go away, you lawyers...  
  
Location - Hospital Wing of the Lady Luck Casino  
  
Time - 9:41 AM --------------------  
  
Raiden moaned as he lay there, his whole body black and blue, none of it from the guards' beatings, but from when an angry Rose mauled him...the guards just kindly brought him to the hospital wing after seeing how badly Rose beat him...after they knocked the poor blonde wonder unconscious.  
  
Raiden - Ow, my head.  
  
Snake in his very hyper state comes in and sits next to Raiden.  
  
Raiden - Oh, hi Snake, you came to visit me...how nice.  
  
Snake - RATIONRATIONRATION! *beats Raiden over the head with a boxed ration*  
  
Snake runs away, giggling all the way, to continue his gambling.  
  
Raiden - Ow....hey...IT'S A RATION!  
  
Raiden chews on it! Raiden's health is completely restored!  
  
Raiden - YAY! *throws off hospital gown*  
  
Raiden runs off to join Snake in his gambling spree.  
  
As soon as Raiden runs into the main gambling room, everyone begins to faint, except Snake.  
  
Raiden - ....what!? Ohh...right...i'm naked. Anyways, GAMBLING, WHEEE!!  
  
Raiden runs to the slot machine beside Snake, and begins having his eyes bug out, obsessing over the slots.  
  
Suddenly...Rose walks in, checking out the new landmark.  
  
Raiden gets up and runs to Rose, his naked butt jiggling all the way.  
  
Rose - Wow...Jack...it's so big, you wanna get back together?  
  
Raiden - Iknowthenakedladycasinoisbig!wannagamble?  
  
Rose - Errrr......that's not what I was talking about....but OKAY!  
  
Rose joins Raiden and Snake on their rabid slot machine spree.  
  
--------------------  
  
9:50 AM, Liquid's Apartment.  
  
Liquid - So if you're saying I'll help you blow up the casino, I'll also have a possibility of killing Snake??  
  
Otacon nods his head.  
  
Liquid - I'M IN! OKAY! LET'S GO! *bum bum bum...bumbumbum...bumbumbumbum...bumbumbumbum clap clap*  
  
Liquid shoots the T.V., and the music stops.  
  
Wolf - *from far away* YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT!  
  
Liquid - D'OH!  
  
------------------  
  
9:52 AM, Solidus' Mansion (he WAS a former president...)  
  
Solidus - So if I help you blow up the casino, I'll be able to use that land to make my own casino, and extend my reach, AND BEAT THE PATRIOTS!......okay!  
  
Otacon - *silently* Yes.....  
  
Solidus - Indeed....indeed  
  
Otacon faints from shock at Solidus' good hearing.  
  
----------------------  
  
Snake - lalallallal  
  
Raiden- hi de hi de hi de ho!  
  
Rose - SLOTMACHINESLOTMACHINESLOTMACHINE!  
  
The three rabid gamblers are swimming in a pool of $5 bills. Lucky bastards......  
  
Suddenly, Ninja zooms by on a UNICYCLE, and bowls over Snake, Raiden and Rose.  
  
All Three- AIIYEEE!!!  
  
NINJA - LOOK OUT UNCLE SNAKEY! NAKED LADY HOUSE ABOUT TO GO BOOM!!!!!!!  
  
------------------  
  
Behind the Casino...  
  
Liquid - So, we meet again, dear brother...  
  
Solidus - Yes...yes we do......  
  
S&L *same time* - LET'S GO! *shoots a nearby radio, in anticipation of the old boring music*  
  
----------------  
  
BOOOM!  
  
Snake, Raiden, Rose - ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!  
  
All three of them go flying out of the casino, and into the snow...and to be taken care of Meryl, in her THIRD cabin...  
  
------------  
  
Achoo!  
  
Raiden - Owww...my nose....  
  
Meryl - Otacon, we did it! Their addictions have been curved.  
  
Ninja - UNCLE BUM! ARE YOU OKAY?  
  
Octopus - WHY! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE NOTICE ME, BUT THIS FREAK!?  
  
Ninja - WHO YOU CALL FREAK UNCLE BUM??  
  
Octopus - *sigh*  
  
-------------  
  
Epilogue - Raiden caught a cold. Rose and Raiden are a couple again, and they moved into Raiden's apartment. Fortune is still a permanent resident, even with the loss of her business. Ninja was happy that the almost-illegal billboard was gone, and Fatman is still unconscious in the fields, and is now covered with the droppings of Raven's ravens. And Snake is now in a class to curb his gambling addiction, in addition to his labatt blue addiction, and his gravy gum addiction, and his cigarette addiction.....poor Snake...  
  
And Octopus...well..he's planning the ultimate revenge on Meryl.... 


	5. Christmas Time is here?

Isolation will do that to you, AND THEN SOME! - THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!  
  
Disclaimer - I do NOT own anything here! Everything here belongs to someone else, whether it's Lady Croft, the inspiration behind this story, or Lord Hideo Kojima, who invented Metal Gear. (Also a good Christmas present, for you CHEAP shoppers out there. I'm talking about MGS2 - Sons of Liberty, which got into Greatest Hits), and all references to Lord of the Rings, which is property of Tolkien Enterprises, and invented by JRR Tolkien, who I bet is still slapping Shakespeare silly in the big library in the sky. There's also The Simpsons References.which belong to Matt Groening.SO NOONE HURTS ME! :P  
  
A/N - Yup, I believe in The Big Guy, even though I ain't baptized, circumsized, you name it.YOU HEAR ME? NO CIRCUMSICION! *shoots doctors*  
  
9:00 AM - Raiden's Apartment - December 24st, 2003.  
  
Raiden - OH SHIT! IT'S CHRISTMAS AND I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WHAT TO GIVE ROSE!  
  
=Codec Call= -Snake---------Raiden- Snake - Hey kid, it's almost Christmas..*evil smirk* Raiden - PLEASE SNAKE! Don't insult me..YOU GOTTA HELP ME! Snake - Don't worry.just head down to Mantis's store.he helped me pick out something for Meryl.. Raiden - Thanks Snake, you're the greatest pal ever! Bye! =Closed=  
  
9:01 AM - Snake's Place - December 24st, 2003.  
  
Snake - You know, after I was the greatest pal, I'm wishing that I DIDN'T tell him to go to Mantis's, his products are worse than gravy flavored gum.Oh well!  
  
Snake resumes drinking his can of Labatt Blue, while watching some grade A hockey.  
  
Snake - Mmmmmmm..the icey taste of labatt blue with hockey..  
  
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!  
  
Snake pulls out his USP from his and fires a few shots through the door.  
  
Liquid - OW! HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS ME, BROTHER!?  
  
Solidus - Told you he'd know.you owe me twenty bucks.  
  
Liquid - Aw crap.that and the hospital bills, too.  
  
9:02 AM - Mantis's Place - December 24th, 2003.  
  
Raiden - Hey Mantis!  
  
Mantis - Hello Mr. Ripper, what can I get you today?  
  
Raiden - The latest issue of playboy, oh, and ammo for all my guns, as you would know.  
  
Mantis - Coming right up, sir.  
  
Raiden - How much?  
  
Mantis - Under normal circumstances, it'd be about $1000.00, as the ammo is $990.00, but since it's Christmas, and the fact you got me to the hospital when my legs were crushed horribly, I'll cut it down to $200.00  
  
Raiden - OH THANK YOU! *Kisses Mantis*  
  
Mantis - .  
  
Raiden - By the way, I want that Golden Ring.  
  
Mantis - Ah, for Rose, yes?  
  
Raiden - Yup, hopefully, it'll get her into bed.  
  
Mantis - YOU SLY DOG!  
  
Both Raiden and Mantis begin laughing evilly.  
  
Mantis - By the way, that's about $3000.00, and you'll have to sign this release form by a certain Mr. Darklordwhoforgedthisunstoppableringbutthengothisfingerchoppedoffandthenhelo stthewarofthering.  
  
Raiden - .Ok.  
  
Mantis - See you around, Mr. Ripper.  
  
Raiden - Mmmhmmm.  
  
9:30 AM - Snake's Apartment  
  
Snake - Alright.looks like I got everything, Hentai for Otacon, George Bush voodoo doll for Solidus, Johnny Sasaki voodoo doll for Meryl, toilet paper for Johnny, pooper-scooper for Wolf, A new muffler for Raiden and his Mitsubishi Eclipse, frying pan for Rose, a riot shield for Liquid.he'll need it, considering he loves to piss off Wolf, Designer Gas Mask for Mantis, Steroids for Raven(like he needs any.), LOTS of sugar for Grey Fox, and finally, a Revenge Planner for Octopus.  
  
10:00 AM - Raiden's Apartment (After a rush of running through every store from the nearest available town.which just happened to be Springfield.)  
  
Raiden - Good, I have hentai for Otacon, Tony Blair voodoo doll for Solidus, twin-quilted toilet paper for Johnny, gas mask for Wolf.stupid dog crap, gravy flavored rations for Snake, cookware set for Rose, pepper spray for Liquid, a year's supply of pixie sticks for the Ninja, so I can give him more next Christmas, and yes, of course.a Meryl voodoo doll for Octopus.  
  
10:30 AM - Wolf's Luxury Suite  
  
Wolf happens to be sitting in a hot tub, sipping on some white wine.  
  
Wolf - Oh yes, my Christmas list. Well, I got hentai for Otacon, IAMS dog food for my wolves, A fly-swatter for Meryl, gold-plated M4's for Snake and Raiden, sugar for Ninja, and hell, I'll just send fruitcakes to everyone else.  
  
Otacon - That's mean.  
  
Wolf looks to her left, and there's Otacon, sitting in her tub, sipping on some Sake.  
  
Wolf - .  
  
Otacon - .  
  
Wolf & Otacon - Meh. *they continue watching Wolf's Plasma TV integrated into the wall*  
  
11:00 AM - Rose's Brain  
  
Rose - Alright, I have Need for Speed: Underground for Jack, beer for Snake, Solidus, and Liquid, a titanium-plated wheelchair for Mantis, a bribe for Wolf, and finally, hentai for Otacon (anyone seeing a trend, here?)  
  
6:00 PM - Wolf's Out-of-town Mansion overlooking Springfield - Dinnertime!  
  
Wolf - Raiden.you came.where's Rose?  
  
Raiden - Uhh.Rose will be here in half an hour.said something about last minute shopping.  
  
Wolf - Well.make yourself at home, I have beer in the kitchen.  
  
Raiden - Ok.*walks off* OW! OH GOD! AHHHHH!  
  
Wolf - Maybe I should've told him about my angry wolf.*sigh*I'll go get the rations.  
  
*Ding-dong*  
  
Wolf - Hey! It must be Snake.  
  
Snake - Hello Wolf, I have everything, *throws this little cart with everything on it into the kitchen.INTO Raiden who is being mauled by Wolf's angry wolf.  
  
Raiden - AIIIEEEE!!!  
  
Snake - What the hell was that?  
  
Wolf - Nothing..nothing at all.*throws a ration into the kitchen, which hits Raiden on the head*  
  
Raiden - Ow.  
  
DING-DONG  
  
Wolf - *opens door*  
  
????? ????- Hello, I-*BAM*  
  
The Fluffy One - So.no luck, eh Shade?  
  
Shade Wolf - Shut up. *beats Fluffy One over the head, and ties him to SW's Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle, and literally drags him back to their shared apartment(because they're poor)*  
  
Wolf - Right.  
  
*Ding-Dong*  
  
Wolf opens the door, expecting to see Rose.  
  
Liquid - HELLO!  
  
Solidus - Hi.  
  
Wolf - Oh, it's you. Come in.there's fruitcake in the kitchen.  
  
*Raiden is still being mauled by the wolf in the kitchen*  
  
Liquid - What was that??  
  
Wolf - NOTHING! Errr.nothing at all.eheh..heh.  
  
Solidus - Come on brother, let's go "greet" Snake.  
  
Liquid and Solidus, both bearing evil grins, walk into the family room.  
  
"ARGH! OW! OH GOD! AIIIIE!"  
  
A few seconds later, Liquid and Solidus both walk out, bruised and bloodied.  
  
Liquid - He was more prepared than I thought.  
  
Solidus - .  
  
Wolf - *sigh* I'll go get the rations.  
  
*BANG BANG!*  
  
One of Wolf's wolves was running out of the kitchen, scared off by Raiden's apparent gunfire.  
  
Raiden - Oww..Wolf! Get me another ration!  
  
Wolf - Oh crap, I'm going to need to buy more. Liquid, you're paying extra rent for that.  
  
Liquid - D'OH!  
  
*ding-dong*  
  
Solidus - IT'S THE PATRIOTS! AHHH! *hides behind the couch*  
  
Wolf - Oh suck it up you wuss.it's probably Rose.  
  
Wolf reaches over, and opens the door. Rose - I'm finally here.sorry I'm late.  
  
Rose is trampled and Revolver Ocelot, Mantis, Fatman, Vamp, Otacon, Fortune, and Vulcan Raven run in.  
  
Rose - .  
  
Fatman - HI! OH HO HO HO!  
  
Everyone Else - You're not funny, Fatman.  
  
Fatman - Awww.  
  
Wolf - Okay.let's just eat dinner, open the gifts, and kill Raiden, ok?  
  
Everyone but Raiden - YEAH!  
  
Raiden - HELL YEAH! Oh.wait a second.  
  
=At the dinner table.=  
  
Raiden - Uhhh.so yeah.why is everyone giving me evil glares?  
  
Rose - *chomp chomp* Uhh.no reason, Jack dear.*shifts her eyes at Snake*  
  
Snake - *nods* Yeah kid.let's just get out the wine and the beer for the others, alright?  
  
Raiden - Sure Snake.  
  
*Raiden and Snake walk off to Wolf's cellar, and after they close the cellar door, everyone begins whispering to each other*  
  
Wolf - When do we beat Raiden up?  
  
Fatman - Uhh..why do we beat him up?  
  
Fortune - It's an annual tradition.  
  
Fatman - Oh.  
  
Rose - We'll bag him when we give each other our presents?  
  
Everyone - Alright!  
  
Rose - Now act like nothing's happened.they're about to come back.  
  
*Raiden and Snake re-enter the kitchen with the drinks in hand*  
  
Raiden - So, we miss anything?  
  
Rose - No, honey.come back and eat.  
  
Raiden - Err..ok.  
  
*After they finished eating, everyone was gathered in the living room.*  
  
Snake - It's time to open our gifts.but let me say something.Christmas is a time to celebrate the holiday spirit, the start of a new year, and the birth of Christ.*makes the cross*  
  
Raiden - Snake, I never knew you were Christian.  
  
Snake - Neither did I, kid.neither did I.Now.it's not all about the gifts.it's all about the spirit.and our spirit is gained from.NOW!  
  
Wolf - EYAAAAH!  
  
*Everyone Doggy-piles on Raiden, crushing him.*  
  
Raiden - Ow. X_X  
  
Snake - Merry Christmas, kiddo.  
  
Fatman - MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL, A GOOD NIGHT.  
  
Snake - Well, he's fat enough to BE Santa.we'll have to look into that.  
  
~FIN~  
  
A/N - Merry Christmas, guys! Have a merry Christmas, happy hannukah, crazy Kwanza, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan, and NOW! A message from ONE OF my muse's gods, our sponsors!  
  
Eldarion (my muse...DUH) - Are you tired of girls running away from you?  
  
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Shade Wolf - I guarantee, you'll have to beat them off with a stick!  
  
Eldarion - *really fast* Warning, side-effects may include hallucination, diarrhea, erectile dysfunction, death, and halitosis. 


	6. I JUST HAD TO WRITE IT!

Isolation Will Do That to you and THEN SOME! - New Year's Celebration  
  
Disclaimer - I do NOT own anything here! Everything here belongs to someone else, whether it's Lady Croft, the inspiration behind this story, or Lord Hideo Kojima, who invented Metal Gear.  
  
9:00 AM - Snake's Apartment - Groggy...  
  
Snake slammed his hand down on his alarm clock, which beeped wildly.  
  
Snake - AH CRAP! Third one this week...oh well...*Snake pushed the wrecked clock down, to join the other alarm clocks which have died in his service. May they rest in peace.*  
  
Snake looked at his watch.  
  
Snake - HEY! IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE! AWESOME! I'll call everyone up and have them come to my place!  
  
*Snake contacts Raiden*  
  
Snake - It's New Year's eve...get all the boys, and they're coming to my place.  
  
Raiden - And the girls?  
  
Snake - They can go to Wolf's place.   
  
Raiden - Alright. But why your place?  
  
Snake - I had Otacon use his hacking skills to get me free satellite! It even bypasses pay per view!  
  
Raiden - So even the adult movies?  
  
Snake - Especially the adult movies...  
  
Raiden - GREAT! I'LL GET THEM UP RIGHT AWAY! I'll also tell Rose to have a separate party at Wolf's place.  
  
*Raiden closes the Codec*  
  
Raiden - Rose! Snake's inviting the guys over to his place for New Year's, and the girls can go to Wolf's house.  
  
Rose - Alright, but behave...  
  
Raiden - I will...(Those porn movies will keep me fixated, ALL NIGHT!)  
  
Back at Snake's Place...  
  
Snake - Stupid Raiden...he doesn't know we'll just watch hockey all night...until the big countdown, at least.  
  
9:00 PM - Snake's Place - The Party...  
  
Snake opens the door to see Raiden there, in the old Skull Suit  
  
Snake - You're late, kid, everyone's here.  
  
Raiden - Everyone?  
  
Snake - Yup. There's You, Otacon, Mantis, Raven, Fatman, Solidus, Liquid, and Ocelot.  
  
Raiden - Wow. Hey...what about Vamp?  
  
Snake - He went to the girl's party...  
  
Raiden - Ah...  
  
11:59 PM - The New Year...  
  
Snake - 5...4...3...2...1....HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS!  
  
Everyone cheers, then doggy-piles on Raiden, again.  
  
Raiden - Ow...why me?  
  
Snake - Happy New Year, kid.  
  
-End-  
  
Eldarion - And now...another thing from our sponsors.  
  
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Teenager - Boring...  
  
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Eldarion - Warning, this game should not be played by those who know any sort of soccer mom, in fear that our sanity will be destroyed by their incessant complaints, and chronic nagging. 


End file.
